


Late night musings

by angellteeth



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: But they do suck!, Gen, He really doesnt deserve this, Hes ten!, Intrusive Thoughts, Pre-Series, They arent actually bloody i dont go into detail, Theyre bloody!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25761886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angellteeth/pseuds/angellteeth
Summary: Stan had awful trouble sleeping sometimes, find out why today!
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	Late night musings

Stan just wanted to sleep, but he _couldn't,_ because every time he tried to just relax he thought about something he really didn't want to.

It varied without pattern between Stanford axe murdering him or vice versa.

And for the life of him couldn't understand _why_ he thought about it, he didn't choose to. It just. Happened.

Maybe he shouldn't have read about that axe murderer.

Maybe it was because he was tired, or because stuff like this happened a lot, or maybe he was just a wimp, but he was pretty sure he was about to cry.

But if he did that Stanford would wake up and he'd have to either explain himself or think of a lie and he wasn't really good at lying when he was crying, and he didn't want Ford to think he was some kind of maniac.

So he just tried to sit there quietly while his stupid brain forced him play out both scenarios in as much detail as it could muster. 

He tried his best to breathe deeply and quietly, but wasn't working so well and he could only manage the "quietly" part, mostly because he just kind of stopped breathing at random points until his lungs burned. He didn't choose to, it just happened.

Whatever.

Maybe he'd pass out from lack of oxygen and finally get some rest.

But of course that didn't happen. That'd be _lucky._ Instead all those stupid thoughts he didn't ask for just got worse.

He'd never seen a skinned person, but he'd seen a rat missing some of its skin once and he had enough imagination to figure out how it might look a person.

And that was what pushed him over the edge.

He tried really hard not to cry, but it didn't work, so he just tried to be quiet instead. That worked a little better for him.

It had all just been a problem for _so long,_ and he didn't understand it and he hated when he didn't understand things, and he couldn't talk to anyone about it because _yeah_ it _might_ be normal, but what if it _wasn't?_

What if there was something wrong with him and he was dangerous?

In that case, it'd probably be safer for everyone if he fessed up.

But he didn't wanna hurt anyone and he was pretty sure he wasn't able to do much real damage to anyone anways, and he'd dealt with thinking those stupid thoughts for his entire ten year life so maybe he could just pretend to be normal until he died?

But what if he couldn't? He didn't wanna think about losing it and hurting somebody.

For a little pick pocket like himself, he apparently had a strong moral compass and just stabbing some innocent person upset him more than anything had upset him in his entire life, he was pretty sure.

Maybe he had a phobia of blood.

His thoughts wandered around in senseless circles, going through every "maybe" twice, and were constantly stabbed through with another thought he didn't choose to have and didn't understand.

It felt like hours but it was actually only around fifteen minutes when he finally was so exhausted he _couldn't_ think anymore and sitting upright was really hard.

So he laid back and, lucky for him, didn't have any dreams that night.

**Author's Note:**

> never written a crying child before!


End file.
